LUW Querying Workshop

Last Saturday I attended a wonderful workshop put on my the League of Utah Writers. The Panel of professionals included Tie-dye aficionado Author Johnny Worthen , LIterary Agent Terri Baranowski, LIterary Agent Michelle Witte, and Author/Coach Angie Fenimore.

​To say I learned something about writing Queries and elevator pitches would be a grand understatement. However, I think I can sum up it up in a few simple words.

I SUCK at writing queries and pitches!

At least, my first query letter seemed to fall on disfavor with the panel. As one of the few who were deemed "brave" for sharing an actual query letter to a publisher, the panel was (in my opinion) rather kind in their critique. However, I wasn't brave enough to talk directly with any of them about how to strengthen the letter. (not wanting to put my face with the letter).

It would seem I'd committed an unforgivable literary sin. that drew gasps of dismay for mentioning in the query that I'd already listed my novel on Goodreads. So, I guess I need to work on that.

I also learned that being able to mention a large Twitter following is like dollar signs to publishers and agents. "How much milk comes with the cow I'm considering to purchase?" 

Another fun tidbit is #PITMAD. For my generation, this will always be "Pound Sign" on the rotary or push-button phone mounted to the wall, leashing you to a three-foot semi-circle in the kitchen unless your parents invested in the 10-foot coiled phone cord that enabled you to still talk while doing dishes on the other side of the counter.

#PITMAD enables to writers and authors to send a 140 character "pitch" out into the void in hopes that publishers and agents are following this feed and "like" the tweet as a sign of "Hey, I'm interested in hearing more!"

The last part of the workshop consisted in an exercise to "PITMAD" a pitch, written on a 3x5 card, and read aloud to the panel. The panel then voted on the individual pitches and quickly explained why they did, or did not, like the idea.

Overall, what did I learn from the workshop?

1) Writing a query letter is akin to online dating. One-letter-fits-all doesn't work. Each query has to be tailored to each individual person reading the query. (I've already written a whole damn book, now I have to customize my approach for each person I approach?)
2) Agents all have their own quirks, likes & dislikes, and their mood of the day affects which queries or pitches get their attention. (Feels a lot like speed-dating).
3) Great story ideas are not received well by all agents. (feels even more like online dating).
4) Writing queries and pitches is just as much an art form as writing in any specific genre... and apparently I need more practice.

I have to admit, I walked out of the workshop a little more than disheartened. I wasn't sure if I still wanted to pursue a traditional publishing route, or just stick to my little self-publishing world in which I'm not risking my very fragile self-esteem.

But, after taking the weekend (and then a few more days) to let it all marinate in the dark and barren corners of my demented mind, I'm going to continue this journey; keep learning the craft, keep on going, and keep on writing as long as there are stories to tell. 

Even if their only to myself and my handful of fans out there.